this new ache
in my tailbone
keeping me up
googling
"pain without a bruise"
and bone cancer
wondering oh
or maybe I'm
growing a tail.
thinking about
all the ways our bodies
save us and
betray us,
about friends
newly weds
posting links
to a gofundme,
hospital gowns now
instead of wedding.
about your
emergency surgery,
that you would've died
had we hesitated.
when is pain
not a message.
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