What are you thinking about?

I hate when someone asks me what I’m thinking about 

And I say I don’t know

And they pursue the question

I was thinking about how my therapist doesn’t take my bulldog video addiction seriously and shows me her bulldogs, which is like smoking crack in front of a junkie, and how because of the addiction I’ve been hearing “My Shayla” meme audio several times a day for years, but only yesterday found out it was Tyrese, which is not what I pictured at all, and I wonder if I would rather be in a Shayla custody battle with Tyrese or the person I dated last year. Maybe it would be less challenging to deal with a man who would make Tyrese’s “Django Unchained” audition tape versus a man whose false humility masks a massive ego, so I would probably go with Tyrese, because he feels less insidious. Also I feel like Will Smith probably told him to make that tape. It has Will Smith “BET ON YOURSELF!” presentation vibes all over it. Sometimes I take people’s career advice if it’s less time consuming to do the thing than listen to the person badger me that I didn’t succeed because I didn’t follow their instructions. Except sometimes I wind up eventually having to tell that person to fuck off anyway because then they think they can bully me into doing whatever. But if I just had boundaries in the first place I wouldn’t be in the position of having to tell people to fuck off, so I have myself to blame…

So next time I’m asked what I’m thinking about 

I’m going to have to say mind your own business