The Third Man

 

They’re two men polishing contempt
Until it reflects the whole tristate area back

But Billy Joel has a more sophisticated

Grasp of melody

Whereas Lou Reed has a more sophisticated

Grasp of social climbing

And an inarguably cooler lifestyle brand

Both say: get in loser I got an 8 ball 

Then hand you a mirror and a straw

And you’re having a good time

Until the chorus hits and the mirror catches some

Harsh light, searing your most repulsive angle

Reflecting moral superiority back on you

In both cars there’s a third man in the back seat 

In the Billy car it’s a coked up man talking about

His house out in Hackensack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack

And you’re like: who even is this man???

If you ever knew anyone like this 

You haven’t seen them since 8th grade

But you question if he might be the lesser of two evils

The other evil being the geeked up man in Lou’s car

Bragging that Andy Warhol is his very close, personal friend  

And how he knows the host’s real name 

At the party you’re going to 

Lou looks at him hatefully in the rear view mirror

Two chords and a dead stare, super uncomfortable

Back in Billy’s car the chorus is so good

You forgive Billy for the attitude 

Until you smash into your neighbor's house 

Which car would you rather be in? 

The older I get the less I know