Thursday, January 29, 2026

a half-written essay

 One date, I’m open to friendship then I agreed to 

a photography shoot

“banana boudoir”

Mm ok sounds confusing I’m into it 


I arrived and learned the term “gay for pay” so you’re a foot soldier for rainbow-washing


your banana boudoir vision board reminded me

Of multiple times men surprised me in private with porn


You’d built a tiny bed

To splay out the banana and its peel 

Yes that’s correct a banana and its peel as spread legs


I worked hard to take good photos

And then you asked to kiss me

Caught me off-guard


You hounded me for the photos after

years later I often return to wondering exactly why you’re the first person I’ve ever ghosted


confusion about art and labor and sex 

kaleidoscoped into me 




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