BEFORE THE BASKETBALL GAME

drove to the top of the rich hill went into the tavern little tourism venture kill time like i don't live here strong fans goth spice girls bartells becoming cvs set up like i’m studying no surfing trying 123 space warm indoor breeze new types of voices out here ice in shaker like a baby rattle everyone solo on their phones you either have a friend or a date or a phone or props like a tower of books with the skinny pastel post-its sticking out like petals

years ago this was the weekend, dinosaur weather and a plotted route, what if i’d known i’d be orbiting mourning still trying to learn? today i closed my eyes in the church attic room curled to “what wants to come through” washed black dashes little white sneaking and considered a baby and other answers but everything ate itself and just fed 

things punctuate, the bar back’s freckles and kill bill shirt, his smile nod scanning, wanna say you’re not from here because his ease is as foreign as my nerves foreignly from here 

like when eyes close gulp for the world ben telling me about nata’s dates about his friend “with vibes” no i’m not of the people-world right now, this bar, red and black checks bottles lit up amber, dog with wings on the chalkboard, horses pulling rope across the budweiser mirror

“the kids love danger, it’s true. because they don’t really understand it?” scoot but my body can’t find it’s back “omg not dusting off the glasses!” in shrill hyena amelia badelia tremolo, the tye dye line cook brings her basket boat of fried food, memory of ben balancing on cement in tacoma over water

“in my mind she’s like 14 - she is youth - she’s a sweet summer child” freckles waves to someone across the horseshoe, his shift is over, then comes back to help, i give him many secret coins for that.what wants to come through? maroon, red, orange-yellow, a little sunny house, like elise’s dipped in grenadine.

holding my own throat at the bar, answers don't budge. every time you step out you risk being severed. tye dye line cook recycles white claws. maybe freckles went home. feel the fake wind lift my hair.