Two Things Are True

The gaze got me in the end 

it used to be I'd be in the Happy Snaps

a week later leafing through my prints

thinking oh no I look like that

can't win can't find my angles.

The state that I am in I think

the sum total of 30 years is that

I think I know exactly when to suck

my cheeks in and the state that I'm in

is hollow is the impulse to suck is

the state I'm in that my cheeks are hollow.

I used to be fun now look at me preening

for all the world's a stage it quite literally is

you look at it one way and everyone's up there

with intention you look at it another and Crocs

and pyjamas at the deli are so intentionally look

but don't linger and there has to be hope in 

phoning it in and I have to hope I keep

searching for types of phoned in I don't even

have to say no judgements.