Mentor Praise Daddy

I guess I would warn anyone with a mentor

That you don’t need a mentor

Your mentor needs a narcissistic supply

I didn’t seek out a mentor

It was more like a cool pen I got 

With my restaurant check

That I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to take

While it was happening

The mentorship seemed low stakes 

Until I realized he was trying to mentor me

Into poverty and self hatred

At first he said I needed him

To call me and tell me how awesome I am

But it’s weird getting glazed by 

Someone who can’t be bothered to 

Watch or read your work

Then one day

I noticed he bristled 

If I said anything kind about myself 

I decided this is how I would ditch my mentor

From thereon in

Whenever we talked on the phone

I would mention some accomplishment

The way you invent a boyfriend

In front of someone who thinks they own the room

After a week of this

He said my problem was my huge ego