the other dinner guest reminded
me too much of you
I couldn't relax.
caught myself looking
at their midriff
when their hands went high
in a joke game
I felt left out of.
me, depressed,
adrift in a city
and a problem
that we don't share.
trying to see their skin
but glimpsed myself instead
for the creep
I suppose I am.
imagining it pressed against mine
in an awkward first.
the kind that
is only ever
a last.
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