Problem Solving

Problem Solving

I notice

half of

me dying

to get 

out of

this room

& sort

through my

long sleeve

shirts, short

sleeve shirts,

scarves &

begin a

knitting project 

& ah

make lists 

of gifts 

to knit 

for people 

I want

love from.

Wait are

knit gifts

just extractive

love shovels? 

Well maybe

instead give 

gift-knits 

to strangers? 

No. Strangers’d

just throw

knit scarves

up in 

the air

for wind

to whip

around while

me &

my skein

remain grounded,

neck bent

back, nose 

up, chest 

out, gaped. 

& soon

my gift 

falling falling

& soon

wet &

slopped with

gray slush.

Let’s review:

I have

yarn, time,

yearnings, beloveds

with necks

of skin.

Wait wait. 

Time? This

is where 

I am 

wrong. ish.

I have 

today &

tomorrow &

in these

hours I

must also

research whether

animals (possums)

burrowing under 

the back

porch bother

anyone or

anything. Okay

they don’t.

But see

that took 

a while

& in 

that time 

I did

not knit.

Also not

every knitted

gift will

be beloved.

Knitted things

are variably

lovely. Some

kinda suck

tbh. But 

back to 

the original

problem: how

to get 

love from

beloveds. Don’t

say, “Just

ask.” What

am I 

even asking 

for? For

them to

invite me

in. Oh 

hello actual 

assignment. Attention

me. Yes 

you lady.

Invite your

own damn

sweet ass 

in. Perhaps 

I was 

half right. 

I’ll knit 

small fruits

(raspberries) for 

people I

love. “Have

this berry

of fondness,"

I’ll say 

& that

will be

that. Period

end of

story. They

have a

berry. I

have my

uncrinkling chest

upfilling with

eucalyptus air.