Richard Brautigan

 

Richard Brautigan is the only person

I make fun of that I actually might 

Just be jealous of

Everyone else I make fun of is 

Unequivocally a herb

I think I’m jealous of 

His swagger

Like I don't want his style

I just mean the ability

Or the entitlement

To take yourself seriously

I hate the picture of him in his stupid

Cable knit turtleneck and medallion

Like he thinks he’s 1970s Clyde Frazier

I hate how he puts hot girls 

On his book jackets

Like OK pimp we believe you

In therapy today 

My therapist asked me to sing

“Vienna” by Billy Joel

For reasons unrelated to 

My disgust for Richard Brautigan

And I couldn’t stop laughing 

But I bet Richard Brautigan

Would do it without laughing 

Fuck him

But not actually

I would never