I wish my mom were alive for various reasons
But especially because I have a pressing question
This morning I was shaving my legs
And remembered when I was 12
My mom got mad at me for
Not asking permission to shave my legs
I didn’t question if my mom was weird
My knee jerk reaction was:
OH SHIT I FUCKED UP
Lie about it. Lie fast! Say:
“I didn’t shave my legs
I don’t have leg hair”
I’d like to be able to call her now and say:
“Hey Mom sorry I lied about
Not having leg hair
But also I’m just curious
Why did you need
To be the boss of my leg hair?
Did you want to collect it
For something?”
Or I might make fun of her by asking:
“Hey Mom, can I shave my legs?
I’m about to take a shower and
I just wanted to run that by you
To make sure it’s OK.”
And she’d be like:
“What?”
And then I would explain and
She’d pretend not to remember
But I know I’d be able to hear in her voice
That she still secretly wants a vote
One comment to say thanks for three more funny, honest poems
ReplyDeleteomg my mom got mad at me for the same reason
ReplyDeleteOMG MY MOM TOO. "you didn't lie to me, you deceived me"
ReplyDeletenothing has ever been as hard as getting up the courage to ask my mom if I could shave my legs
ReplyDelete