Mum Was Done

By 83, she told me this in 96,

pushed for divorce in absentia

but by Saturday evening

divorce was just me telling 

everyone at my table.

Someone probably hung out for a while,

flipped a wedge of coasters off the lip

woargh and wahey and

divorce news of non-divorce transactional:

Rich said he was adopted

and it was never spoken of again

I thought everything was a trade so

I asked his brother at football,

said he didn't know why 

no-one ever knew.

Ben asked her what prostitutes were

she said: prostitutes are women who

go out with men for money

Ben whispered are prostitutes women

who have sex for money

tchhhhhhh

why did you ask then -

and that was it.

Divorce is what happens when

becoming middle class is not enough

so why did she tell me then

and why was that it.

I thought, maybe divorce is

what happens when you can't

track who's using the camp bed,

when you've crossed the 

threshold of shame once you've

realised everyone else is a foil

or conduit to what you haven't said.

I do understand,

my dad didn't weld a thing in his life

and his toilet, a hole in the ground,

was at least, inside.

Whilst he was squatting, thousands of miles away,

were you out there in the big freeze of

62-63 in your nightie and grown up work boots

or was the back door hemmed in?

New year was delayed 10 minutes

by snow on the clock hands

that delay has stuck for all time,

so leaves on the line

never make you late

and the curse of the lumpen of

the kingdom is to be 

10 minutes behind every decision

made.